Unlike my one sister whose nickname is Judgy McBitchity, I pride myself on my lack of judgitude. (That should be a word.) So if you tell me that you’re the neighborhood prostitute who rides around with a blow-up mattress in the back of your Honda Odyssey servicing the local construction workers and deliverymen, I say knock yourself out. Actually, I’m judging the crap out of you behind your back. I mean, really? You’re a prostitute. You’re asking to be judged.
I also judge you if you wear bright purple eye shadow. And I judge you if you like the Pioneer Woman. And I judge you if you are a Kardashian, watch the Kardashians or like the Kardashians.
Okay, so maybe I’m a little Judgy McBitchity. Shut up.
The point of all that is this: Some thoughts popped into my mind while reading one of The Beast’s books to him, and none of them are meant to be judgmental. So if you read my thoughts and feel like you or your loved ones are being judged, then refer back to the first two paragraphs that list the people I judge. If you’re one of those, then, yes, I’m judging you. If you’re not, then we’re good.
Do you think that this is an effort by the editors to break down gender stereotypes?
Do you think that this book that is written for 3-year-olds is trying to suggest to toddlers that it’s okay to be a boy and want a pink bedroom, wear dresses and have pictures of butterflies on the wall? And I’m not saying that’s not okay. I’m just asking if that’s what the book is suggesting.
Do you think this page is specifically intended to cause us to question how we’d feel if our son wanted a pink room? (Just as a note, The Beast will always pick a pink bowl and spoon when given a choice.)
Or is it that the editors are just morons who didn’t catch an error?
Lastly, why is there so much trash in the wastebasket? Is that a picture of a prairie dog in the frame on the shelf? And why does the book say that all the clothes are neatly hung in the closet when there is clearly a dress hanging on the doorknob?
[Waves hands in gesture invocative (Is that a word? Am I using it correctly? Seems like it should be a word but my spell checker doesn’t like it.) of “Coffee Talk with Linda Richman.”]
P.S. If you do not know who Linda Richman is, you are too young and we can no longer be friends.