My sister and her family are in town visiting me for a few days, which is why you’re getting this short OCD post rather than a story about how Satan tried to destroy my Easter. That story will wait for another day.
Today’s story is about Tic-Tacs and insanity.
You see this pack of Tic-Tacs?
Unless you’re color-blind like my one brother-in-law (the idiot savant), you’ll notice the one green Tic-Tac in the pack of white Tic-Tacs. I bought a four-pack that was completely wrapped and didn’t see this when I purchased it. I don’t buy irregular things because my OCD doesn’t let me.
I cannot eat these Tic-Tacs and let me tell you why. Here’s what I think happened.
Joe the Serial Killer who works at the Tic-Tac manufacturing plant wants to kill people. One day he’s working on the green Tic-Tac assembly line and decides to grab a green Tic-Tac to take home and paint with a coating of cyanide. Unfortunately, when he returns to work the next day, he’s assigned to work on the white Tic-Tac assembly line. However, unwilling to wait until his shift brings him back to the green Tic-Tac assembly line, he opts to insert one green Tic-Tac into a package of white Tic-Tacs hoping that the idiot who purchases them will just assume that there was some sort of benign screw-up at the Tic-Tac plant. Said idiot will eat the green Tic-Tac and die an incredibly painful death.
Well, Joe the Tic-Tac Serial Killer, you have met your match. I am not an idiot and I will not eat that green Tic-Tac.
I wish I were kidding.
P.S. When did Tic-Tacs stop being the “One-and-a-half-calorie breath mint”?