How much is the Ark of the Covenant lunchbox?

You know how Jesus went into the temple that one time and all of the people were in there using the temple as a giant, indoor flea market to hawk their wares?  And remember how He got really ticked off and overturned all of the tables and threw out all of the people who were selling birds and making change?

Well, I did that today.

Only it wasn’t the temple.  It was my dinette/living room.

And it wasn’t a table covered with what I imagine were miniature golden calves, some Ten Commandments keychains, a snow globe with a little ark that flooded when you turned it upside down, maybe a chicken or a turkey just in case you needed to pick something up for dinner while you were buying your sacrilegious knickknacks.  It was a child’s table covered with leftover Cheerios from The Beast’s breakfast.

And it wasn’t because someone was using my living room for blasphemous purposes.  It was because someone threw tiny beads all over the kitchen floor and had an epic fit when instructed to clean up the mess so his mom went temporarily insane and picked up and threw a table.

Somehow, I don’t think God is as pleased with my rearrangement of the furniture as He was with Jesus’.

That’s your Bible lesson for the day.  Do with it what you will.

P.S. I recently deactivated my Facebook account because it turns out that I don’t like most of my Facebook friends, so you’re probably going to be getting more of these stories that I’d normally post on Facebook.  Sorry.  Or, Yay! depending on how you feel about me.

5 thoughts on “How much is the Ark of the Covenant lunchbox?

  1. No more FB? How am I supposed to pretend that we are friendly acquaintances? Also, I tried that for a spell. It doesn’t work. You’ll be back. You’ll fall off the wagon. All it takes is one too many shots of tequila, my faux friend.

  2. Shoot. The only reason I have Facebook is to follow you, Shawna, and 100 days of real food (which is getting old). I might have to do the same thing. I can just follow y’all on twitter. But promise me you will spend all of your extra time writing more blog posts. Or a book.

    • I agree with you about 100 Days. I’m getting sick of looking at what her kids take to school for lunch. Mostly because it makes me realize how much I suck at packing lunches. I mean, I’m glad she’s got kids who eat hummus on whole wheat pitas, but my kids would literally spit hummus in my face if I made them eat it. Then I’d be throwing tables again.

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